Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Unwilling Attraction

Sinking lower into myself, shrinking within my skin, hugging my heart, tears caught inside, lest they betray my inner fears. I wrench my glistening eyes away from your image, sobbing silently, hidden, invisible. You put your arm around me, I try not to cringe; it hurts, how can I love that which I don’t trust? It’s not a choice, can’t choose who you love, or else I wouldn’t love you, you know it to be true. Our lips touch quietly, like magnets, compulsive, mesmerizing; you cradle me, I lean into you, nestle against you, my heart constricts tighter, I fall deeper into my soft despair, I want to pull away from you. What is right? I don’t choose, I don’t think; you hug me closer, a tear shines down my cheek, I look up at your mirrored face. Identical turmoil, a disgusted attraction. I tremble against you, you make me love you, I can’t choose who my heart longs for; the heart knows no direction, but a force beyond comprehension. You make me love you even though I wish not to. I look down because you don’t want to either, but we’re silent as our lips seek each others’, and we drown in salty tears for one more kiss, one more kiss that neither of us chose.
5/27/2008

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